URUSHAKO NIKIBAZO NAHO SE UBUGARAGU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hagati aho se bavandimwe mwari muzi  mariage icyo ari cyo?

- Mu rwego rw'iyobokamana ngo ni igikorwa kigamije kubamba umusore no kwambura ubusugi umukobwa.
- Mu butabera ni ikatwa ry'urubanza aho buri muntu akatirwa gufungwa ubuzima bwe bwose akaba ashobora gufungurwa ari uko mugenzi we amuciye inyuma agafatwa.
- Mu mibare ni igiteranyo cy'ibibazo,gukurwah o ubwisanzure, kwikuba kw'imirimo no kurya utwawe buri gihe hari uguhagaze hejuru.
- Mu gisirikare niyo n tambara yonyine wemerewe kuryamana n'umwanzi.
- Mu iburungushura ngo niyo nzira yonyine yo kubyibuha no kuba ifotwe.
- Mu buzima busanzwe ngo nta mugore ubona uwo yizeraga ndetse nta n'umugabo n'umwe wizeraga ko yabona uwo afite mbungira.
- Naho muri philosophie ho ngo ni inzira yo gukemura ibibazo uba udateze kuzahura nabyo ukomeje kuba single!!!!!! !!!!!

Nizere ko ibi bitabatera ubwoba kuko n' ubuselibateri atari ikintu bavandimwe.

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Le franglais pratique

Vous avez beau vous appliquer, cela ne veut pas rentrer :

Impossible de manier la langue de Shakespeare !

Alors ne vous désespérez plus : avec des phrases françaises adaptées,

vous arriverez à vous faire comprendre par les Grands Bretons !

Etonnant, non ?

Comment dit-on en Franglais ?

Umunyu

Umwana mwarimu yamubwiye kwandika interuro irimo umunyu nuko rero le type yandika ngo twarariye umuceri n`ibirayi nuko mwarimu amubajije ati se wamwana we umunyu urihe aramubwira ati uri muri ibi biryo sijye wahera!!!!>

Kibure gufata

Umugore n'umugabo barimo kwiterera akabariro kuko bari baryamanye n'umwana muto ariko muri icyo cyumba hari ikindi gitanda kiryamyeho undi mwana. barakomeza wamwana yikubita hasi wawundi ari kubyumva. nyina arabyuka amusubiza kuburiri noneho barindira ko yongera gusinzira ngo bongere. umwana arisinziriza barangije barongera, wamwana ahita abwira wawundi muto ngo CYIBURE GUFATA NGO GIKOMEZE UMVA BONGEYE ,EJO NTIKIZABWIRE NGO NGIKANDE. (yari MUTWARE SGMAD i Mugandamure)

Bibaye byiza ubwo musetse!!

Umugabo umwe yigeze gusurira abantu mu kabari, bamurebye ati:ese murandeba iki; ahari umwenge ntihaca umuyaga!?" Bumvise abashubije gutyo barumirwa maze baraturika baraseka, nawe arongera ati:"ntubona ahubwo; bibaye byiza ubwo musetse!"

Byagenze bitya!

Umugabo yakubise undi urushyi maze ajya kumurega bageze aho baburaniraga barababaza bati byagenze bite? Ni uko wa mugabo ava hasi akubita mugenzi we urundi rushyi ati byagenze gutya

Wari ufashe iki ?

Umusaza yagiye gutera urubariro hamwe n'umukecuru we, noneho burira urutara batangira gukora ibyo bifuzaga, maze bimaze kugera hagati wa musaza yaje gusunika cyane maze wa mukecuru yitura hasi, maze wa musaza amukankamira agira ati:"Ubwo urabona nk'ubu njye ko nari nyifashe wowe wari ufashe iki ngo turinde twagwa!"

Zigenda zitya !

Abagabo babiri bagiye kuburana inka; bageze mu rukiko umucamanza ati:"Izo nka muburana zigenda zite?" Maze umwe muri ba bagabo arunama atangira gukambakamba ati:"Zigenda zitya!"

Amabinga

Umugabo w'amabinga yahuye n'ufite amenyo maremare maze ufite amenyo maremare ati:"Mu bw'inturo amasaka areze(ashaka kumuvugiraho ko afite amabinga nk'inturo)". Undi aramusubiza ati:"Areze ariko isatura ziyamereye nabi(amuvugiraho ko afite amenyo nkayisatura)!"

Dusabe...

Umukobwa witwaga Dusabe ngo wari wiyiziho ko ari igitangaza yagiye mu misa none ngo padiri avuze ngo "Dusabe...." Mu gihe atarakomeza undi ati:"Karame padi; ese nawe wamenye ko ndi hano!?"

Guma aho nzane n'undi!

umugabo imodoka yamugongeye umwana noneho wa mushoferi kubera ubwoba amuha 5000frw. Ubwo rero kuko uwo mugabo yari umukene abwira wa mushoferi ati:"Guma aho njye kuzana n'uwasigaye mu rugo!".

Imboyo

Umwarimu yabajije abana gutanga amagambo arimo igihekane "mb" umwe muri bo ati:"imboyo". Mwarimu yumva atabyihanganira amutuma ababyeyi. Ubwo rero se yaje kuza bamusobanurira ko umwana yavuze ibitavugwa, ahita ava hasi amukubita urushyi ati:"Niko wa kagoryi we sinakubwiye ko bavuga "Imboro"!? (mwarimu we yari yiteguye ko umwana ahanirwa kuvuga amagambo mabi)

Nanjye sinatashye ubwawe!

Umusaza yabwiye umwuzukuru we ati:"Mwana wanjye mbabajwe nuko ngiye kuzapfa ntatashye ubukwe bwawe!" Uwo mwana aramusubiza ati:"Ntibikubabaze kuko nanjye sinatashye ubwawe!"

Gupima inyama

Umugabo yagiye mwisoko kugura inyama agezeyo abona aho bari kuzipima arabaza ati iki kiro ni nyama?

Umwana uhetswe

Umugore yari yasinze aheka umwana we wumuhungu amucuriste agiye munsi yurugo kwihagarika amusimbije akora mukanywa agaruka avuza induru ati umwana wanjye yabaye umukobwa kandi yari umuhungu.

Inzu igenda

Umugabo yagiye mukabari kunywa amaze gusinda arataha ageze hanze abona amazu aragenda yicara hasi ati iyanjye iransanga hano!

Isosi itukura

Umugabo yagiye gusura bantu agezeyo asanga bahishije akomanze bahisha ibiryo munsi yameza ubugari ni nyama zifite isosi itukura bihumura cyane. baricara bigeze aho umugabo ati reka rero mbabwire ibyago twagize kurugendo. tugeze mwikorosi twahuye nikiyoka kinini!! cyari gifite umutwe munini wanganaga naburiya bugari buri munsi yameza ijisho ryayo ryatukuraga ni nkiriya sosi iri hariya munsi yameza nuko bahita babizana barabirya!

Umugabo w'umukristu

Umugabo wari umukirisitu yagiye kwirega ibyaha ..."Nibye igitoki cyo kwa kanaka ...naciye inyuma umuturanyi wanjye ....", hanyuma padiri amuca icyiru . Umugabo ataha yishimye rwose ,yumva yakize , ndetse afata n' umugambi mwiza , ku cyumweru abyukira mu missa ya mbere . Padiri ageze igihe cyo kwigisha atangira kwigisha abakiristu uburyo bakwiye kwifata ..."Ntimukibe ni bibi ...Gusambara ni icyaha gikomeye ...." ...Umugabo aho yicaye atangira kubyimba ...Umujinya urazamuka ...Bagiye kubona babona ahagurutse yijujuta asohoka ari kuvugira mu matamatama ..."Puuu , sinzabagaruka ...ariko ubundi koko nabikubwiriraga iki ?? Ubundi uri Mutabazi tuva inda imwe ??". Ubwo ahita yisubirira ku idini rya gihanga . sinjye wahera !

Umwana utuzuye mumutwe

Umwana utuzuye mu mutwe yaryamye ku gitanda , bigeze mu gicuku aratota , arahanuka yikubita hasi. Ubwo arabyuka , arikandakanda asubira mu buriri .
Hahise akanya arongera ararota arahanuka yitura hasi , hamwe yituye uwa mbere ....! Noneho arabyuka araseka cyane yishimye ngo "mbega Imana ngize weee , ubu iyo mba ntahagurutse ngo nsubire ku gitanda mba NIGUYE HEJURU...".

Umugabo n'umugore

Umugabo n'umugore bariho batera urubariro, bari ku rutara rwabo, umwana wabo muto abaryamye iruhande. Mu gihe bari mu byabo, umugore yumva umwana ararira kuko yari yaguye hasi. Abwiye umugabo ngo nareke ajye kumureba, umugabo aramubwira ngo : "Mwihorere inyundo incura abandi iracyakora neza, kandi nawe urabyiyumvira".

Umugabo wakundaga inyama

Umugabo wakundaga inyama yasize umugore we agiye kubaga isake mu gitondo , ajya ku kazi !! Ariko aho ari mu mirimo yicara arota rusake ....
Kera kabaye nko mu ma saa tanu aradomoka arataha , ageze mu rugo asanga madame agiye kugura ubufu , urugi rwari rwegetseho !
Umugabo yihina mu gikoni , inkoko ayihera mu maguru ....ayitapfuna yitonze ,...ayigeza ku gutwi ....Reka kuvuga igufa , nyamugabo n' amajanja yarayanuye...n'ibikohwa , umenya ntacyo yasize inyuma !! Arangije asohoka ntawe umubonye arigendera !! ...Hagati aho ariko indangamuntu ye yari mu mufuka w' ishati yari yaguye mu isafuriya , ariko umugabo w' amerwe ntiyabibona !
Nyamugore arataha , arebye mu isafuriya asanga hibereyemo isupu gusa ...Inyama zagiye hehe ?? Mbaza nkubaze !! Cyakora agize amahirwe abonamo ya ndangamuntu , yitegereje neza abona ni iya patron. Na we arayarura , ayishyira mu gisuperi ukwayo , ubundi arinumira !
Umugabo ataha saa sita induru ari ndende ngo arashonje umugore azana isupu , n' ikindi gisuperi ku ruhande gipfundikiye neza ...
Umugabo ntapfunduye cya gisuperi ahita yiyamirira ...."Ye baba weee ....Ariko koko uyu mugore nzamwigisha ngereze hehe ?? Sinakunwiye ko IYO UMUGORE AKARANZE INKOKO CYANE , BIGERA AHO IGAHINDUKA IBYANGOMBWA BY' UMUGABO WE ?? "... Ni uko umugabo yirira isosi gusa !
Sinjye wahera !

Umugabo na Petero

Umuntu yarapfuye,noneho ageze hahandi ku muryango munini,ahasanga wa mugabo uli kwizamu,ayobora abapfuye aho bagomba kujya(umwe bita Petero)
Nuko Petero yereka wa muntu amuhitishamo aho yifuza kujya.
Arabanza amwereka muli PURGATOLI,wa muntu ahakubise amaso asanga impinja ziralira,zirannya,ziraruka,ati aha ntabwo nahaba. Petero arongera amwereka mw'IJURU,asanga mw'ijuru bali muli za DAWE ULI MW"IJURU........za NAKURAMUTSA MALIYA.......nandi masengesho menshi,mbese abona harakonje ,aaaabaza Petero ati mbese ntahandi?nuko Petero amwereka mu MUMULIRO UTAZIMA,ahakubise amaso,asanga harashyushye,arebye abona ibyokezo biliho za Broshete,abona abantu barabyina,baraceza,abandi baranywa inzoga z'amoko yose,abandi begetse abagore ku bibambasi barakora amahano,abandi barareba za video zo gusambana,mbese urusaku ali rwose mu mpande zose,mu kanya akabona umuntu araguye,mu kanya akabona ibibombe bilisuka ubudatuza,Aliko cyane cyane agashimishwa nuko ibintu byose yabonaga bishyushye.
Nuko wa muntu abwira Petero ati:urakoze kunyereka hano,igendere aho njya nahageze.Nuko umuntu yigira mu MULIRO awita IJURU.
Ngaho nimugire amahoro.

Umwana kwa Padiri

Umwana w'Umuhungu yagiye kwa Padili gushaka Penetensiya,mbese kwicuza ibyaha.
Nuko umwana abwira Padri ati:"NASUZUGUYE ABABYEYI BANJYE"Padri aramubaza ati wabasuzuguye gute?
Nuko umwana aramubwira ati iwacu bambujije"GUSHINGA GATEBEGATOKE"ngo ntzavunika.Padri rero yali umuzungu,ayoberwa gushinga gatebe gatoke icy'alicyo.Noneho Padri abaza wa mwana ati:wabinyereka se?Umwana ati cyane rwose.Nuko umwana asohoka mu ntebe ya Penetensiya ajya mu kirongozi;aratangira alihenantura,amaboko hasi amaguru hejuru,Padili ali mu kadilishya amwitegereza,nuko umwana ararangiza asubira mu ntebe ya Penetensiya.

Nuko Abakecuru n'Abasaza mbese abantu bose bali bali ku murongo,kugirango bashake Penetensiya babonye ibyo umwana akora barumirwa barayembayemba bose barataha bagenda bavuga ngo yewe;ngo ntawashobora gutanga ikiru kimeze kuliya padri yahaye uliya mwana,noneho ugiye gushaka Penetensiya yasanga hali wa mu Padri agahita yitahira,atekereza ko amubwira gushinga gatebe gatoke.

Noheli yegereje

Noheli yegereje , umugabo ajya gusaba Penetensiya. Aricuza ibyaha byoseee , ariko ntiyavuga ibijyanye n' inkoko za Padiri. ...

Padiri :"None se warangije kwicuza ibyaha byose ??? "
Umukozi: "Yeee , narangije Padi ...."
Padiri:"None se ni nde unyibira inkoko ????"
Umugabo:" hmmmmm?? Ntabwo numva neza! Subiramo! "
Padiri:"Ninde unyibira inkoko ??? Amasake yanjye ni nde wayamaze ??"
Umugabo: "Padi ....Ntabwo ndi kumva rwose! Reka tugurane , uze hano , nanjye njye aho ....noneho mvuge nawe wumve !! burya iyo umuntu ari hano ntabwo aba yumva neza !! "
Padiri aremera , baragurana. Umugabo noneho nawe arabaza:

Umugabo: "Padi, ninde ujya gushuka umugore wanjye iyo ndi ku kazi ???"
Padiri: " Euuuhh.... hmmm ....hmm??? Ntabwo numvise neza ..! Subiramo, numve ! "
Umugabo:"Nakubajije ngo ...Ninde unca inyuma iyo ndi ku kazi ??"
Padiri:"Ariko uzi n' ikindi ?? IYO UMUNTU ARI HANO , BURYA KOKO NTIYUMVA NEZA !! ...reka duhindure nguhe absolution, tureke gukerereza abandi bategereje !"

Umugabo abona absolution ye ! Sinjye wahera !

Kwambika ibara

Umugabo utazi igifaransa yagiye muri france,noneho bamushakira umusemuzi. baravuga bagera naho bavuga kurubyiruko , noheho wa mugabo utazi igifaransa ati:abana b iyi ngoma bagiye kuzatwambika ibara. umugabo abwira umusemuzi ati ngaho babwire icyo bishatse kuvuga mu magambo macye, wamusemuzi ngo agire ngo arasemura nawe ati ca veux dire que les enfants de ce tambour vont nous habiller la couleur.

Ndigaramiye

Umugabo yagiye gusangira inzoga nabandi mu kabali, mu kanya gato ziba ziramugaritse zimutura hasi munsi y'ameza, arangije abwira bagenzi be ati: izo nzoga mu kanya zirabica nigaramiye!!!!!!!!!!

Mayibobo n'amata

Mayibobo yamanutse kumuteremuko imodoka iba iramuhushuye irikomereza agwa igihumure, noneho umugore w'umunyampuhwe aba aje yiruka gutabara ahita abwira umuntu wari hafi aho ati simbuka ugure amata hariya tumuhe turebe ko ahembuka, mayibobo nawe aba aritaye mu gutwi niko kongeraho mu kajwi gato ngo na ka keke!!!!!!